It’s 2016, so of course Ukip is having its second leadership contest.
Just after 11am today the party is announcing its replacement for Diane James, who quit her post as leader after 18 days this summer and has now abandoned the party.
Literally a few thousand votes have been flooding in for this important public post. (Last time the winner needed just 8,451).
But if party chiefs were hoping for a calm race this time, they’ve been disappointed.
Favourite Steven Woolfe – who missed the previous battle because he filed his papers 17 minutes late – quit after a fracas with a fellow MEP and says the right-wing party’s in a "death spiral".
Shock jock journalist Raheem Kassam quit after he faced anger for saying Nicola Sturgeon’s legs should be taped shut.
But don’t worry – we’ve still got the bloke who said a gay donkey tried to rape his horse. Although, trailing with the bookies, John Rees Evans has claimed the contest is little more than a "coronation".
Here are the runners, riders, gallopers and trotters in the Ukip leadership contest.
Who’s in the race?
Who? 39-year-old North West England MEP and former deputy leader, now clear favourite tipped as a "unity candidate"
Claim to fame? He opposes most of the world’s scientists by doubting "so-called man-made global warming", calling it a "hair-brained theory" that has "fallen on its backside". He also wants to bring back fox hunting.
Who? 51-year-old former BBC journalist who wrote Ukip’s 2015 manifesto and led the party for three whole days before Nigel Farage ‘unresigned’.
Claim to fame? She had a bitter falling-out with Farage and was suspended for six months for "disloyalty" after criticising a Ukip candidate who described LGBT activists as the ‘Gaystapo’.
John Rees Evans
Who? Ex-soldier in his late 30s who pitched with what appears to be a video homage to the Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony (above).
Claim to fame? He said a gay donkey tried to rape his horse.
Who’s dropped out?
Remember her? Us neither. She was Ukip’s leader for 18 days until she quit.
Four-time boss Farage is still legally the leader – for now – because Diane James’ forms were not properly processed by the Electoral Commission.
But he’s repeatedly said he won’t run again and claimed he wouldn’t do the job for $10million.
First he got thwarted because he filed his papers 17 minutes late.
Then the migration spokesman quit blasting Ukip’s "poisonous atmosphere" after he collapsed following a brawl with fellow MEP Mike Hookem.
He told the BBC Ukip is in a "death spiral" without Nigel Farage at the helm.
The Trump-like former Nigel Farage aide, 30, quit three days after his pub launch with a rant at the "disgraceful" media for trying to speak to his parents.
Mr Kassam was widely criticised for his abusive outbursts on Twitter, saying Nicola Sturgeon’s legs should be taped shut and telling a "blobby" teenager to "f*** off to Greggs".
But the journalist claims it is him who’s suffered. He made a harassment complaint against the Times for "showing up at my elderly parents’ house at dusk, intimidating them".
He curiously claimed he didn’t have enough funds to mount a full-scale campaign despite diamond mine tycoon Arron Banks swinging behind him.
The 55-year-old London Assembly member was Ukip’s candidate for London mayor last year.
He wanted to be the first openly gay member of a Britain-wide political party and said he and other AM David Kurten (who’s black) are the most diverse political group on the Assembly.
But he pulled out after the High Court ruling on Brexit, saying the party had to unite around Paul Nuttall.
We don’t really know who he is. But he’s now backing Paul Nuttall.
The 46-year-old MEP made a failed summer bid on policies including a burqa ban, cheaper beer and bringing back the death penalty.
His slogan was "Billieve in Bill" Yes, really. He came back for more but this time he quit before formal nominations closed.
Previously his biggest claim to fame was being suspended by the Conservatives in 2011 after posing with a golliwog to prove a point about political correctness.
The London Assembly member ducked out to back Paul Nuttall.
He’s the guy by the door in this picture.
When were the hustings?
Tuesday 1 November – London
Thursday 3 November – Newport
Tuesday 8 November – Leeds
Thursday 10 November – Wolverhampton
The new leader is announced at 11am on November 28
Consistent with Ukip’s ‘anti-establishment’ stance it’ll be revealed in the heart of Westminster.
Odds from Ladbrokes, updated November 4